The Smashers' TV Show!
by Hyperpiratewhohasnogoddess
Summary: It's the Smashers starring in their own T.V show! Actually, it's more like a bunch of stories featuring the smashers that don't have anything to do with one another. eh...R&R PLEASE!
1. Theme Songs

This is Hyperpersonwhohasnofuture's form of the theme song-

Camera cuts to Roy sitting at the couch. Theme music starts to play. Mario walks in.

Mario- Today is that day! The day where I get Peach!

Roy- Shut up dumbass! Now is not the time! Can't you plainly see? I'm trying to throw a dime!

Marth- Why you pelt me with coins I do not know! But the least you could do is get rid of the crow!

Camera goes to Crow

Link- (stabs crow from behind) Gotta love Crow on a sword!

Young Link- Maybe they should give you an award!

Red Young Link- Why we are here, we have no clue!

Blue Young Link- But I know I could eat all this freakin' glue!

Purple Young Link- You guys are stupid, not even close to smart!

Zelda- but you have to admit! You taste pretty freakin' tart!

Shiek- I don't even know why I have a part.

Fox- My parents died, how I do not know

Falco- we don't even care, just kill that damn crow

Yoshi- NO, spare its life you must!

Bowser- I like to kill, it's definitely lust!

Kirby- I'm a ball of puff, it really sucks

Pikachu- Look at all these freakin' ducks!

Pichu- I hate Pikachu, I really do.

Mewtwo- but your stuck with him, unitl you do the dew.

Dr. Mario- Advertising soda? Now that's just wrong

Peach- and so is the fact that I'm wearing a thong!

Ness- yes, that is bad!

Ganondorf- No, it's really Rad!

Caption Falcon- I would hate to see Peach lying in bed.

Ice climbers- We feel like we are dead! (anvil falls on them)

Mr. Game & Watch- Damn that was fun!

Luigi- Now it's time for a really bad pun!

Jigglypuff- I'm jiggly!

Samus- That just sucked. I don't even get the point of this!

Killer- who cares? The point is I really need to piss!

All- Welcome one and all to that happy go lucky place! The Smash Mansion! Where the crazy things happen!

Roy- Like I get wasted!

Ness-And I'm attracted to him!

Zelda- I'm the drunkard of this show! And nobody else will stop me yo?

All- So come on in! have the time of your life! Just watch us struggle to live freakin' life!

Killer- and to have many cases of copyright infringement.

Camera fades out

This is Pirategoddess's form of the theme song-

Welcome to the Smash Mansion, it's an insane place to be!  
And you know that eventually they'll all try to kill me.  
They'll say, "LET'S KILL THE AUTHOR! GET THE BROOM!"  
But I could always write them falling into a hellish doom.  
The Smash Mansion! Where Roy is always high on stuff,  
Ness is gay, and everyone is always trying to kill Jigglypuff!  
Zelda's the drunkard, and the Ice Climbers feel dead!  
A place where fights get started no matter what is said!  
The Smash Mansion, why the Hell do we have to live here?  
But they're adventures will always be weird, they'll fall in fear!  
MUHAHAHAHAHAHA! Watch them all deal with that strife,  
Hell, let's watch them all struggle with their everyday life!

As you can see, hers is shorter and mine is longer. Hers is more to the point and mine just uses all the characters. So, with this said, ENJOY THE EPISODES!


	2. Blue Young Link Finds Viagra

Hyperpersonwhohasnofuture wrote this chapter

Killer- (disclaims)

The Super Smash Brothers Show! Yeah.....

The scene starts out with Link sitting on the couch in front of the big screen T.V. "You gotta love big screen! Who would have known a job as easy as this would pay so much AND actually be rewarding!" said Link as he stared at the T.V. He didn't notice Young link sneaking up from behind.

"BOO!" Young link screamed into Link's ear

Link jumps back three feet "HOLY HELL! IT'S THE-" Link death glared at Young Link "piece of crap from the past..."

"Yeah well, you probably need the company." Young link retorted

"For your information I am very entertained!"

Young link looks at the T.V.

"NEXT UP! GIRLS GONE WILD! SRPING BREAK!" The T.V. announced with vigor

"You are sick Link!"

"Um....GANONDORF! HOW COULD YOU PUT THAT ON?"

Camera cuts to Ganondorf skipping around the kitchen, dusting any random object.

"I'm a just singin' in the rain! Yes singing in the rain! Oh singing in the rain!" Ganondorf sang as he dusted

Camera goes back to Link and Young link

"Eh...Just get out of my sight." Link sighed

Theme song plays, Little Jingle plays. Camera zooms in to Young Link in his bedroom.

"(yawns) Damn, this place is boring!" Young link whined

Suddenly a portal opened up in front of Young link and his multi-colored companions popped out.

"Hey dude! How's it going?"asked Red

"Yeah, we were really bored trying to save Zelda without your help. So we came here!" Blue explaned

"So what should we do now that we are all here?" Purple asked

Camera cuts to Zelda peeking into the bedroom

"So they thought I needed saving? Well then! TO THE I NEED SAVING MOBILE!! WHEE!!" Zelda scremed as she ran down the hall, tripped, stood up, started running, and tripped again.

"What are all those thumping noises?" Red asked

"They came from the hall!" Pointed out Blue

"I wonder who or what it could be!" Purple thought aloud

"Well, let's go see!" Green said as he walked out of the room

They all go out into the hall. Nothing is seen both ways.

"That was certainly odd." Blue said confused

"Speaking of odd, let's see what our adult self is doing!" Red suggested

"OK!" all the other links agreed

They all walk down to Links' Room

"Hey Link! Open the door!"Green said as he pouned on the door

"Go away little man! I'm doing stuff in here!" Link yelled

"I'll handle this."Red walked up to the door, cleared his throat and started to imitate Zelda's voice. "Link, I think I'm drunk as always! Let me in so we can have rough hard-" Red was cut off by Link

"Conversations? YAY!" Link opens the door expecting Zelda. He looks around while all the young links run under his legs into the room. "Why aren't you passed out on the floor like you usually are?" Link looks down the hall and sees the fainted Zelda. "Oh! There you are!"

"That was easy!" Said Green

"Yeah! We made it into Link's room unnoticed!" Blue pointed out the obvious

"My question is, how did Red imitate Zelda so well?" Purple asked

"Well, when you're around her for a while, she can become really easy to mock" Red explained

Camera does instant flashback thing, Zelda is seen fainted on the table. Red slowly walks up to Zelda while the other 3 links stand behind and give him a thumbs up.

"Umm...Zelda? Are you ok?" Red link said as quietly as he could

Silence comes from Zelda. Blue peeks his head in.

"Is it ok to come in now?" Blue quietly asked

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure it is..." Red said in a normal voice

Suddenly Zelda jumps off her chair and roars exactly like a bear

All the links run out of the room screaming for there lives.

Camera goes back to the young links with Purple still confused

"How does that have anything to do with my question?" Asked Purple

"Well..."

Red roars exactly like Zelda did. Blue jumps awake.

"AHH!! ZELDA IS HAVING A HANGOVER AGAIN!!! ABORT MISSION! ABORT MISSION! ABORT MISSION! ABO-" Blue screams but then gets his mouth covered by Red

"Shut up you idiot!" Red scolded

Green starts to shuffle through Links bookshelf

"Hey! Let's rummage through all of Link's stuff and mess up his "Pornography..." What the crap is that?" Green asked

"Who knows?" Purple responded as he stuck his hand in Links drawer, when he pulled it out he was holding a little blue box. "WOW! LOOK WHAT I FOUND!" Purple showed all of the links the box. "What the hell could be inside?" Blue snatches the box from purple

"Let me see!" Blue opens the box and finds some pills. "Wow! There seem to be some sort of pills inside. V-I-A-G-R-A? What does that spell?"

Suddenly Link busts down the door and sees all the links

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU LITTLE RUNTS DOING IN MY ROOM!? AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY VIAGRA!?" Yelled link when he saw Blue with the viagra.

"Viagra? Oh! You mean this stuff! What does it do anyway? WAIT! I'll find out!" and with those words little Blue link popped his first pill, which unfortunately was viagra. "Whoa...I feel all...Good!"

"Oh god....this is going to be the worst day I've ever had. How can I explain to everyone that Blue Young Link took MY viagra?" Link asked himself

"WELL THEN! I MUST SAY! THIS SEEMS TO BE A MIGHTY FINE DAY!" Blue yelled as he saw Peach walking down the hall. "Hey! Wait up hot stuff!

"Me?" The princess asked, confused as to why Blue would address her like that.

"Yeah you! Is heaven missing an angel? CAUSE YOU GOT A NICE CAN! Wanna have sex?" Blue said after his clearly pathetic pickup line

"But you are barely 10!"

"And that's stopping us...how?"

"You little pervert!" Peach yelled as she smacked Blue right across the face. Blue becomes his normal self and looks up at the Princess.

"OWWIE! Princess! Why did you slap me?" Blue asked rubbing his cheek

"DON'T EVER TALK TO ME AGAIN YOU LITTLE SEX HOUND!"

"Sex?'

"DON'T EVEN PLAY DUMB WITH ME!"

"I am sorry, but I'm highly confused!!"

"Just, never come near me again."

"Ok. But I'm still confused."

"Wait a minute" Peach calmed down when she noticed something sticking out of Blue's pocket. "Is this VIAGRA? What is a kid your age doing with Viagra?" Peach said as she thought where blue could of gotten it. "Oh! I know where you got this!

Camera does Flashback animation. Link is seen zipping up and down the halls.

"ZIPPITY DO DA! ZIPPITY DAY! OH MY GOD I HAVE TO STACK HEY!!!" Link sang as he zipped around

"What the hell are you doing Link?" Peach asked

"Well, I took some Viagra, AND NOW I'M ALL HAPPY LIKE! WHEEE!!!" Link explained as he continued to skip down the hall.

"Right" Peach said, standing there, dumbfounded

Camera cuts back to Princess and Blue

"Well, all that matters is that you don't have it anymore! So you're all better! Sorry for slapping you." Peach apologized as she patted Blue on the head

"Thank you Princess!" Blue said as he turned around to face the other links

"LET'S GO FIND MORE!" the other links cheered in unison.

"More what?" Blue asked

"VIAGRA!"

And with that the young links set out. Camera cuts to a scene later in the day, all of the links are sitting in a room

"Ah man...I swear I got laid like...5 (censor) times!" Green said

"WOO! Who knew Zelda had THAT in her?" Red said

"Oh man, I think I'm going to be sick!" Puprle said as he leaned over to vomit

"You all are horrible! You know that right?" Blue asked the others

"All I know, is you didn't get laid and I did!" Green retorted

"Good luck raising a child." Blue scoffed

"A what?" Green asked confused

"Nevermind, I swear I have the weirdest "friends""

Suddenly Ness crashes through the roof and falls onto a spike. Blood everywhere. All of the 4 links just point and laugh while the camera fades out.

Credits Roll

---

Killer- okay people! I am here to apologize for the shortness and weird ending of this episode. You see, Killer is a very busy man. Thus balancing Ragnarok and is very hard. So I did not type too much within 2 days. Or 3. I don't remember. Anyway. You can expect the next one to be better. But it might take longer for me to get up.


	3. The Vacation To Las Vegas!

Killer- guess I should disclaim... I don't own anything super smash brothers melee or Nintendo wise. However, I do own Killer and Harmony. SO THERE!

Mario- yeah, whatever.

THE SMASHERS T.V SHOW! EPISODE 2!!

Scene starts out showing the door to Roy's bathroom, the shower and whistling can be heard. Caption Falcon can be seen sideling down the hall towards the door. Camera cuts to Roy in the shower (don't worry, we've got censors) Caption Falcon rips open the curtains and yells "SURPRISE!!" while taking pictures with his camera. Caption Falcon's smile fades as he stops taking pictures and realizes who is really in front of him.

"WELL! I NEVER!!" Ganondorf screamed as he slapped C. Falcon right across the face. "Can't a man wash the shower walls in peace?"

"What...What...What are you wearing?" CF asked.

"You don't like it?" Ganondorf asked as he lifted his maid dress and bowed.

"Well, I have to say. You do look increasingly attractive."

Suddenly Roy kicks the door open. His eyes are closed as he whistles the Mario brother's tune. He starts brushing his teeth when he opens his eyes to see himself in the mirror. CF and Ganondorf just stand there.

"Hello Roy! Looking fabulous as usual!" Roy said to his reflection.

"Why yes! But why are Ganondorf and Caption Falcon in your bathroom? And why is Ganondorf dressed like a maid?" Roy's reflection responded.

"Wait...What?" Roy turns around and just stares at CF and Ganondorf. Marth walks in.

"Awkward....Roy, I don't even wanna know, but your breakfast is ready." Marth said as he walked off not daring to glimpse back at the three again.

"COOL! BREAKFAST!!" Roy screamed and dashed to the kitchen.

Ganondorf and CF just stare at each other.

"You, doing anything tonight?" CF asked.

"No, why?"

"Wanna go out?"

Silence...camera cuts to theme song, plays a short jingle, and then cuts to Roy sitting on his bed reading a book.

"Hey gorgeous, you're making me hot, so maybe I can learn the ways of fire from you." Ness said trying to flirt with Roy.

"Ok!" Roy said with an unusual perk. He gets up, sets his book down, opens a drawer and pulls out some matches. He strikes one and throws it on Ness. "There you go! The ways of fire!" Roy laughed triumphantly.

"I'M ON FIRE!!!" Ness screamed as he ran down the hall.

"Ahh...so amusing." Roy laughed to himself again as he sat down and started reading his book again. Marth stands in the doorway and looks at Roy.

"You really should be nice to him, maybe even tell him that what he is doing is wrong." Marth suggested.

"Yeah, I've tried that...Remember last time?"

Camera does flashback animation.

"Ness, we need to have a talk." Roy said.

"About your body?" Ness asked with a hopeful smile.

"No, I want to talk with you about your sexual preference."

"Why? Is it wrong?"

"Well, it's not wrong, but it's not right either."

"But it's ok for me to like men right?"

"Yes, it is ok, but not in a sexual way."

"So I can still hit on you?"

"NO!"

"But according to your logic...I can, just not sexually."

Roy sits and thinks

"Damnit...You're right."

Camera goes back to Roy and Marth

"You should still try to set things right, maybe find Ness a new man er...woman." Marth, again...suggested. Roy looks at Marth. "Oh no...Don't you dare do anything funny!"

"It was your suggestion!" Roy said as an evil grin grew across his face.

"What are you going to do?"

"ROY! DID YOU LIGHT NESS ON FIRE AGAIN?!?!" Peach screamed from the living room.

"HE CAME ONTO ME AGAIN!"

"OH! OK!"

"Heh, you can easily get out of that." Marth said.

"Damn straight"

"Have you heard any news about the vacation Master Hand is treating us to?"

"Nope, I don't go near Master Hand, not after last time."

Camera does flashback animation. Roy is seen standing outside Master Hand's door; he goes to knock when Master Hand suddenly starts screaming.

"Now to recite what I would do if anyone would knock at my door at the current time! YOU WANNA KNOCK ON MY DOOR?!?! WELL THEN!! YOU CAN JUST DIE!!"

Screams of pain and flesh tearing can be heard. Camera returns to Roy and Marth.

"Well, I hope we get a vacation, think of all the relaxation!" Marth said as he began to daydream.

"Think of all the women we could meet!"

"I'd prefer not to, seeing as to how I am already with someone."

"Ok, you've mentioned it. You know I'm not gonna leave you alone until you tell me who you are with."

"COME TO THE MEETING HALL IMMEDIATELY!" Screamed a voice Roy and Marth were quite familiar with.

Camera cuts to all of the smashers in the meeting hall, talking to each other and waiting for Master Hand to come in and give another announcement. Suddenly the door busts open and two people walk in, a man and a woman. The man goes behind the podium, clears his throat, and starts to speak.

"Hello smashers! I am Killer! I am here today to tell you that me and my assistant will be attending your vacation with you to make sure nothing goes wrong!"

"WHO'S THE HOT CHICK?!" Asked Link.

"Oh! This is my assistant. Harmony!" Killer death glares all the smashers "If I get one word that ANY of you have done ANYTHING to hurt her in ANY way, not only will she kick your ass," Killer starts to foam at the mouth and gets cool evil flamey eyes "I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND REARRANGE YOUR INNER ORGANS IN ALPHAPETICAL ORDER WITH MY BARE HANDS!!!!!" The smashers just sit and stare. "Your vacation starts tomorrow! We will be going to Las Vegas! Gambling, food, beer, hookers, and fun for the little ones!" Killer smiles at the children. The ice-climbers for no reason explode. "START PACKING!"

Camera cuts to the smashers loading onto a bunch of limos.

"Wouldn't it have been smarter to fly?" Asked Dr. Mario

"Well of course, but then you wouldn't be able to enjoy everything inside the limo." Killer said as he opened the door and showed Dr. Mario the inside. Dr. Mario jumps inside and looks around.

"HOLY CRAP! BIG SCREEN T.V! DVDS! AWESOME! NAUGHTY NURSES! THE COMPLETE 1ST THROUGH 4TH SEASON!

Camera cuts to the inside of Link's limo. Link is already lying down as if to take a nap when suddenly a speaker comes on and a voice is heard.

"Hello! Do you want to see hot women? Lots of them?" The speaker announced. Link nodded. "Well, that's to bad. All we could get was a bunch of fat guys with no shirts on! Now you get to watch them jump up and down!!"

Link, who was sitting straight up, was going to make a dive for the exit when midgets start pouring out of these little tunnels. They walk up to Link and tie him down. The video starts and Link closes his eyes. The midgets leap on his head and hold his eyes open. One of them decided to speak in a very deep voice.

"YOU AIN'T GOIN' NOWHERE!"

The camera cuts to outside of the limo while Link's loud shrieks of terror can be heard. Camera cuts to Ness inside of his Limo.

"Aww...nothing but Girls-Gone-Wild! And Bambi..." Ness looks at the case of the Bambi DVD. He failed to notice the words "Goes on a violent rampage of mass murdering hot chicks" "This trip sucks!" Ness said as he popped in the Bambi DVD anyway. Camera cuts to outside the limo when the movie can be heard.

"Aww...What a cute little deer! Aren't you ju- OH MY GOD!! IT'S MAULING OUT MY ORGANS!!" Camera cuts to Marth's limo

"Ok Marth, we have to make you share a limo with someone." Killer said.

"What about that?" Marth pointed to a kick-ass black hummer.

"That's for Harmony and me. We're taking a different path. Look, just get in there." Killer pushes Marth inside the limo.

"Oh, Hey Marth!" Roy greeted Marth.

"I wonder why I thought sharing would be hell."

"Are you ready to recite poetry with me and Shakespeare?"

"To be or not to be, that isn't really the question." Shakespeare recited.

"Oh yeah, this is why." Marth said as Roy handed him a THICK book.

Camera cuts to Killer and Harmony in the hummer.

"Comfy?" Killer asked as he buckled his seat belt.

"Yep!"

Camera zooms out to show the Hummer on top of a steep rocky cliff. Cuts back to the inside. Killer slams down on the gas. Cuts back to the outside. Hummer goes down smooth for a while, and then starts doing flips. When it finally reaches the bottom it lands perfectly in the parking lot of a casino. Killer and Harmony step out and wait for the smashers to arrive. The hummer suddenly explodes. As the smashers start unloading from the limos, Killer and Harmony start to plan out the day and where to send the children.

"Do you know of a day care center in Las Vegas?" Killer asked.

"I heard that strippers are actually quite caring."

"Oh yeah. Like that one time."  
  
Camera does flashback animation. Killer is seen walking into a strip bar. He's just drinkin' a beer when a stripper goes up to him.

"You seem a bit young to be here, I don't need you dying of alcohol poisoning."

"Ehh...this is root-beer, and I'm 15."

"Don't you have to be at least 18?"

"Hm. Probably." Killer slammed the empty glass of root beer down, dropped a ten and left. Camera goes back to Killer and Harmony. All the smashers are now in a group. Killer tries to get everyone's attention.

"Welcome one and all to Las-"Killer gets cut off as Marth pushes him out of the way. Marth has on one of the cool puffy hats from Shakespeare's time, along with the poofy leg and arm thingies.

"Dear Juliet! Where art thou?" Marth recited while getting down on his knees and holding out his hand.

"Did you write that Shakespeare?" Roy turned to ask him when he realized Shakespeare was gone. "Uh-oh."

"I am right here dear Romeo!" Zelda said as she stepped forward.

"Come hither! Let us commit suicide because we will never be able to truly be in love!" Marth replied.

"Ehh...No thanks..." Zelda ran off to the nearest bar.

"Such a sad fate god has given thy!" Marth started crying. Roy walks up to him and pats him on the back. All the other smashers just run off.

"It's ok, come on, let's go find Shakespeare."

"To be or not to be?" Marth said as he looked up at Roy with hope.

"Umm...to be?" Marth stands up and embraces Roy in a hug while crying uncontrollably. Roy just pats him on the back.

"I wanna go somewhere!" Young link whined.

"Here you go!" Killer said as he handed Young link a little card. "Now go have fun!" Young link just stares at the card.

"Jeff, age 28, gender unknown? Is this a fake I.D?"

Suddenly policemen come up to Young Link

"What are you doing here little kid? It's not safe for you even if you are illegally carrying around a sword, bombs, a boomerang, and a shield."

"Uhh...No I'm not? And I'm 28!" Young Link retorted and showed his I.D.

"Oh, ok. Move along Jeff."

Fox had been running in between allies, sly as a fox.

"You could have used a better simile."

Shut up! I don't see you narrating! Anyway, Fox had met with two cloaked figures.

"Ok, we got the stuff, let's make some money!" Fox yelled.

"Yes, Money." Cloaked figure number one said as he removed his cloak to reveal FALCO!!

"We must make money!" Cloaked figure number two revealed to be BRITNEY SPEARS! A/N: I asked my friends for a random person. It was either Britney or Bush.

"Hit me baby one more time!" She sang as she smoked some weed. Meanwhile, Mr. G&W was trying his luck at being a black jack dealer.

"This is for your life Mr. Bond." Said some guy standing next to James Bond.

"I never lose at black jack. Deal you black thin sheet of paper."

"BEEP!" Mr. G&W dealt bond two cards.

"The rules of black jack?" Bond asked as he looked at his cards.

"BEEP!" Mr. G&W had a black jack.

"Time to die!" Said the man as he took Bond away.

"No. NO!!" The casino continued to be busy as Mr. G&W continued to deal with random people, winning every time. Suddenly the door slams open. Everybody is silent as they all stare at who just entered. It was...PIKACHU!! He was wearing a cowboy hat and a gun holster with two pistols in it. He was also wearing the cool boots with the spiky wheels to match. Western showdown music plays. Pikachu does a slow dramatic walk up to Mr. G&W with the cool rattling sound in each step. When he gets to the table he slams some chips on the table.

"Pika-Pi" (Hit me) Out of nowhere Pichu comes up and hits Pikachu. "PIKA PIKA!" (NOT LIKE THAT!) Pichu scurries out of the room silently laughing to himself.

"BEEP!" Mr. G&W Shows 20, Pikachu shows 21.

"Pi-Pi-Pi-Pi" (Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha) Pikachu laughed and placed more chips on the table. G&W gets 18, Pikachu gets 20. G&W busts, Pikachu gets 17. G&W gets 20, Pikachu gets 21.

Mr. G&W was sweating little 2-D, black sweat drops. If he won this match he would have everything of Pikachu's. If he lost, he would become the laughing stock of the black jack dealers society...that he just joined five minutes ago. Suddenly a Mr. G&W wearing a sphinx hat appeared in Mr. G&W's mind.

"You can do it! Use the heart of the cards!" It rang its bell and disappeared.

Mr. G&W slowly dealt the cards...as he looked, he couldn't believe it! HE GOT A BLACK JACK! He rang his bell, then jumped on the table and rang it again. Pikachu just growled and stormed off. Meanwhile Marth and Roy were looking for Shakespeare out in the streets.

"SHAKESPEARE!?" Roy called out in hopes of a response

"WHERE ART THOU?" Marth yelled.

"OVER HERE BIZIATCHES!" Shakespeare responded.

A/N: I don't know this language, but I would assume you learn it on the streets with the drug dealers, etc.

"Tisn't how we left thou dear Shakespeare, Whateth has happened?" Marth asked Shakespeare.

"YO? YOU GOT ME CONFUSED! I AM SO NOT DIGGIN THIS G-UNIT! YOU BIATCHES GOTTA REALZIE I'M ONE WITH THE BLACK MAN NOW!! I AM SO IN THE HOUSE THAT I'M OUTTA IT!!"

"NOETH!! HE HAS FALLENETH TO THE DARKETH SIDE!!"

"There's only one way to get him back to normal!" Roy said as he readied his sword.

"LET'S A GO!" Mario said as he appeared out of nowhere.

"PLEASE LET ME LAND ON SOMEONE FAT!!" Bowser lands on a really skinny guy next to some fat dude.

"We can do this as a team!" Peach said as she floated down from her parasol.

"What the hell?" Roy asked confused as to why the three suddenly appeared.

"You're going to have to do an RP-"Mario couldn't finish because some huge 2000-ton anvil crushed him, Bowser, and Peach.

"Oh god...we do don't we?" Roy asked.

"I guesseth we do!" Marth said as he pulled out a literature book. Suddenly the camera makes the noise when you get into a battle in Super Mario RPG and does the cool thingy with the lines crossing each other. Shakespeare is on one side while Marth and Roy are on the other.

"YOU CAN'T FIGHT ME BIZIATCHES! I'M TO POWERFUL FOR YOUR INCOMPITENT MINDS! YO?" Shakespeare said as the screen turned black and a label on the top of the screen appeared.

"Drug sell!"

Suddenly a man comes up to Shakespeare, they converse, the man leaves and the label at the top of the screen says, "You got 300 coins!"

"TOP THAT FOOS!"

Marth took a step forward then faced the camera when X, Y, A, and B appeared around him. Marth touches the Y button with his finger and it pulls up a menu of special attacks. He chooses the one called "Poet Poet how do you Foet?" The screen goes black and a puffy hat with a feather in it appears as a blue, blur behind Marth. The label at the top of the screen then says, "Recite as many Shakespeare poems as fast as you can for extra power!" Marth starts reciting at the speed of light er...sound. He glows blue then unleashes a huge beam at Shakespeare. Little white numbers that read "9999" appeared next to Shakespeare's feet.

"OUCH FOO!"

It was Roy's turn, he did the same thing as Marth except his special was called "The Thesaurus and its Exharus" A red book appeared as a blur behind Roy when the label at the top of the screen read. "Flip the pages as fast as you can for extra power!" Roy flips like the wind. He pulls back the arm with the thesaurus in it and flings the book right at Shakespeare's face. Just as the book makes contact Roy snaps his fingers and a huge dictionary slams down on Shakespeare. Little white numbers that read "5760" appeared next to Shakespeare's feet.

"YOU FOOS DON'T KNOW THE POWER OF RAPSTER SHAKESPEARE!!"

The screen went black and Shakespeare took a step forward. The label at the top of the screen read, "WEED RAIN!" It started to rain little patches of grass that we all know is weed. Little white numbers that read "133" Appeared next to Marth and "176" next to Roy. Just incase you were wondering, here's the stats of Marth and Roy.

Marth: HP: 220/313

Roy: HP: 91/267

FP: 58/73

Marth's turn, He chooses the special move "The Poet's Enlightenment" He jumps up into the air and crashes down onto Roy's shoulders. He looks him in the eye and says "To be or not to be?" Then jumps back to his original spot. Green numbers that read "200" appear next to Roy's feet and he becomes cured of the "high" status effect.

Roy's turn, He chooses the special move "Pencils with the Stencils" A huge stencil appears around Shakespeare and millions of pencils start raining on him. Just as the rain stops Roy snaps his fingers. All the pencils come out of the ground and go directly for Shakespeare. Little white numbers that read "6784" appeared next to Shakespeare's feet.

"NOO!! THESE SIMPLE FOOLS COULD NOT HAVE DESTROYED ME!! I WILL SHOW YOU MY TRUE POWER!!" Suddenly the skies become red and Shakespeare turns into this huge Robot like guy with a pimp hat on and a bunch of bling-bling around his neck and on his fingers.

Meanwhile Harmony and Killer had been playing checkers outside.

"King me!" Harmony said victoriously.

"Gr...fine." Killer reaches for the checker piece to king it when the whole ground starts shaking. "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!" Killer said trying to keep his balance.

"HOW SHOULD I KNOW?! WAIT! LOOK OVER THERE!" Harmony pointed to where the huge robot Shakespeare had appeared.

"LET'S GO CHECK IT OUT!" Killer screamed as Harmony and him started running towards the area. Camera cuts back to Roy and Marth.

"Holy hell! How are we supposed to fight that?" Roy asked Marth.

"What maketh you thinketh I would knoweth?"

"YO YO YO!" Robotic Shakespeare said as the screen went back to battle mode. Shakespeare moves forward as the screen turns black and a label appears at the top of the screen.

"BLING-BLING CLING!" Shakespeare launched one of the chains he had around his neck at Marth. Marth became tangled inside of the chain, unable to move. Shakespeare pulls the chain upwards into the air and throws three rings at Marth. They all hit with an explosion upon contact. Marth is dropped back in his spot and instantly faints.

"MARTH!!" Roy screamed. Suddenly, a light shines down on Marth and an angelic choir starts to go "ahhhhh". A star comes out of the sky and lands on Marth. Marth hops up and gives the peace sing to the camera. A little speech bubble saying "thank you!" appears above his head. "But I didn't do that..." Killer and Harmony come crashing down from the rooftop.

"We're here to help!" Killer announced.

"Yes! We'll do whatever we can! From revivals to retrievals, Harmony at your service!" Harmony saluted.

A/N: yeah yeah, I know, You can't have more then 3 people out in SMRPG. WELL TOO BAD! THIS IS MY FIC AND DAMNIT ALL FOUR OF THEM ARE FIGHTING! Now for a re-show of stats.

Marth: 313/313

Roy: 267/267

Killer: 783/783

Harmony: 952/952

FP: 100/100 (don't ask, just go along with it)

"EVEN WITH RE-ENFORCMENTS YOU FOOS ARE GONNA DIE!" Shakespeare yelled as he stepped forward to do another special. Screen goes black and the label at the top of the screen reads "Bitch Slap!" Shakespeare walks up to Killer and slaps him right across the face. Little white numbers that read 409 appear next to Killer's feet.

Killer's turn, He chooses to use the special called "Alcoholic Rage" Killer gives the peace sign and a bag of beer bottles somehow drop from the sky and land perfectly without shattering any of the bottles. A black beer bottle appears as a blur behind Killer and the label at the top of the screen reads "Drink as many beers as you can for extra power!" So Killer starts chugging and chugging until he stands up and starts breaking the beer bottles on the ground. They become all sharp and pointy. He throws all of the now broken bottles at Shakespeare. They all, surprisingly, hit him dead on. Little white numbers that read "7361" appear next to Shakespeare's feet. However, Killer now has the "Drunk" status effect.

Harmony's turn, She decides to use the special called "Mallet of Healing/Pain" Harmony goes up behind the drunken Killer. She swings the mallet and hits him directly on the head. She gives the camera the peace sign; all Killer does is stand up and rub his head while saying "thank you" with the speech bubble thingy. He has been cured 400hp and of the "drunk" status effect.

Marth's turn, He uses the special "Poet but you just don't know it!" Two blue circles start rotating around the screen. They slowly start to focus in on Shakespeare. As the two meet Marth snaps his fingers. Little blue numbers that read 47,639 appear next to his feet. Then the label at the top of the screen reads "These Foos are only tryin' to help you robotic Shakespeare."

A/N: That move was supposed to be like Mallow's "Psycopath" where you can see their hp and if you time it right, their thoughts too.

Roy's turn, he uses the special "Go back in time 20 seconds before we ripped the real Shakespeare out of time." Roy jumps into a portal and comes back out with Shakespeare's clone like thingy....

"To be or not to be?" Shakespeare said. "All I have to do is get that copyrighted and I will make more money then the greatest drug dealer of all time!!!"

A/N: It's my way of saying, "I know you guys are sick of this RPG battle, so I'm endin' it now."

"He's right...I AM DOING THE WRONG THING!!" Robotic Shakespeare screamed. He then changes back into regular Shakespeare thus causing the one from history to disappear. Suddenly the ground opens and everyone falls into a funnel.

"WTF!?" Everyone screamed as they fell down. They landed with a nice loud thud; straight into a mine-cart.

"I know how to drive this! Don't worry!" Roy screamed as he made wild turns across the tracks.

"I'M GONNA BE SICK!" Killer said as he leaned over the side to vomit.

"YEE HAW!!!!!!" Roy screamed as he flew the cart right off the broken tracks.

"HOLY SH-"The cart goes to crash just as the camera switches to Marth sleeping. He suddenly jumps awake.

"IT!" Marth screamed. He heard pounding coming from the walls of the other room.

"NO ONE CARES! GO TO BACK TO SLEEP MARTH!!" Roy yelled.

"I never want to read another Shakespeare poem again..." Marth said as he lied back down.

Camera fades out and the credits start to roll.

Mario- Hello folks! It's a me! Mario! Here to a tell you about all a my escapades around the a world. Now a, letsa start with a-

Luigi- cut the Italian crap Mario, everyone knows you don't have that accent.

Mario- Fine...I'll be over there in that corner crying.

Luigi- And I'll be over here not crying.

Mario- I'M SO ALONE!!

Killer- yeah yeah, we know. Well, sorry for the shortness but I tried. I hope you all enjoyed this and that you leave a nice review! (if you flame, tell me what's wrong, don't just say "it sux" yeah...that just shows low intelligence)


End file.
